Time is Golden

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Ikan Kembung Story


Good day everybody!  Muslims all over the world celebrated our New Year (according to the Islamic calendar) yesterday (Sunday), therefore, today, a Monday, is a public holiday.  Yippie!!!  What's in store?  A recipe?  Nope!  Check out the title...'Ikan Kembung' (in Bahasa Melayu) & in English it's 'Indian Mackerel' and the scientific name for that fish is Rastrelliger Kanagrata (I hope I got the spelling correct).  

I've been very busy juggling my time from home to office, from office to taking care of my mom but I'm grateful that I still have a very strong will to continue blogging for my own leisure (and of course some familiar followers).  This entry is just to share with you a story that my ustaz (religious teacher), Ustaz Dato' Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man,  used to tell me (and the rest in the class) back in college - Universiti Teknologi Mara or formerly known Institut Teknologi Mara (ITM), Jengka, Pahang branch.  

I was very young back then -- very naughty -- all I cared about was to pursue a diploma as a stepping stone to get enrolled in a university to pursue my first Degree.  ITM Jengka was very boring (maybe still is), it's located in a very remote area and the only entertainment available was the 'pasar malam' (the night market).  I went through 2 boring years with only reading (ITM library was wonderful), practicing on my typing and shorthand speed, tennis, and I used to go home fortnightly.  Sometimes we were allowed to go home only once a month, therefore, I had to make do with what ever available there to keep me going and keep my spirit alive...

One thing, though, I'd say, ustaz Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man classes were one of the best things that ever happened during my diploma years.  I will always remember his 'Ikan Kembung' story.  I've passed down the story to my children (my sons) and today, I'd like to share this story with you ...

Ustaz Tuan Ibrahim used to say "Don't be like the fried Ikan Kembung" -- Fishes live in the sea among their respective family.  The matured ones will protect the young ones from danger.  Fishermen are considered dangerous to fish (Alright, save your comment if you think that this story is a little childish!)  So, there was this one particular fish (at his teens) that was very determined, highly adventurous.  Despite of all the guidance given by his mom (mama fish LOL), he decided to swim far astray from his family and explore the world.  Unfotunately, he got caught in one of those fish nets owned by some fisherman.

Along with other marine lives, that young Ikan Kembung was brought to the wet market.  Came one woman, and just like any other woman in the market, bought him for lunch.  She took that stubborn and 'adventurous' Ikan Kembung home...Cut its belly open, ripped off each and every internal organs, washed it, and then slashed its meat to get it ready for the next step - marinate!  

Marinate ingredient - salt and  turmeric.  Salt and turmeric rubbed on to the wound! Lastly, the fish is fried.  While the Ikan Kembung was being fried , the fish thought to himself -- "If only I listened to my mom, I would never have got into this trouble, being caught, cut opened, ripped and slashed, marinated / wound rubbed with salt and lastly fried in this deep hot boiling oil and served"... Imagine that...imagine being the fish...IMAGINE THE PAIN!  

The point is, Ustaz Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man managed to leave an impact in my heart.  After listening to his Ikan Kembung story, I left the class thinking about myself and the rest of the Muslims in the world (at least, my world)... I believe that the 'Ikan Kembung' character was used to symbolize stubborn youngsters -- school dropout or some teenagers who get into trouble, commit sins, and end up in H.E.L.L. = hell!  The place where regrets carry zero value!  Anyway, different people will perceive this story differently...As for me, I'll always remember my ustaz's message / the moral of the story -- "DON'T BE LIKE THE FRIED IKAN KEMBUNG"...Insya Allah

*Years later, Walt Disney came up with the animated movie NEMO :p

Tuesday, November 1, 2011



Here's my latest project... I'm going to start giving TUITION (ENGLISH ONLY).  I've not distributed the flyer yet, thought of asking for your opinion if I should add any more information on the flyer... It's not going to be the typical local English tuition class...It's designed especially for my sons and children in my neighborhood.  I'll implement FUN LEARNING and we'll start off with vocabulary enrichment.  The children won't even realize that they are actually learning because, all they do is play and work on their 'Language Projects'...

The complete course is going to take 9 months, beginning in mid November 2011 (Insya Allah).  Why 9 months??? BECAUSE Malaysia is an 'exam-oriented' country and most of the major exams are held in September.  Therefore, if I start by mid-November, the children will have 9 months of rapid English Learning activities before September 2012 and sitting for the exam will be just as easy as one-two-three.  Most of the children are having problem especially in 'speaking' and 'writing' in English.  This is the result of 'lack vocabulary' - and I'd like to help them...

Other than that, English is very important all across the world.  I'm qualified to teach the language, many neighbors called me and asked if I can teach their children since the past 4 years or so.  Since then, I took quite a while to do some research and work to design a program to suit those children (including mine).  Alhamdulillah, I finally have the courage and confidence to start the class. To begin with, I'll have to tune myself down and adopt 'language teaching for children' because I'm so used to teaching 'young adults' at the college.  On the monetary note, it's not that lucrative but I'm sure this program will help the children a lot and that is enough to give me self satisfaction :)

Here's the advert...It's in Bahasa Malaysia (Malay Language), please give me some comments, thank you:

  •      Belajar sambil bermain / Fun Learning
  •               Kombinasi Skill Bertutur, Menulis, Membaca dan Mendengar
  •          Memperkayakan jumlah perkataan / Vocabulary Enrichment
  •          Keutamaan kepada Kemahiran Bertutur / Speaking Skill
  •          Keutamaan kepada Kemahiran Menulis / Writing Skill
  •          Mempertingkatkan keyakinan untuk ‘Pengucapan Awam’ / Public Speaking SKill
  •          Pembelajaran berdasarkan projek / Project-base Learning
  •          Kandungan pelajaran turut disesuaikan juga dengan kandungan pelajaran di sekolah tempatan.
  •          Panduan menyelesaikan ‘kerja sekolah’ Bahasa Inggeris.
  •          KELAS Malaysian Universiti English Test (MUET) juga ada.



TEMPOH          :         1 JAM SETIAP SESSI
WAKTU            :         9 MALAM
HARI               :         (AKAN DIBERITAHU KEMUDIAN)
TARIKH MULA :         15hb NOVEMBER 2011
TEMPAT           :         TADIKA AMAN SURIA

ROSZALINA ABDUL RAHIM (lebih dikenali sebagai Nai)
di talian 019-4802400

In the meantime, I just pray that this program will be successful ... Amin...

Communication requires a sophisticated degree of empathy.  In order to communicate effectively you need to be able to understand the other person's affective and cognitive states - H. Douglas Brown


Thursday, October 27, 2011



`Abdur Razzaq told us after Mu’amir after Ayyub after Abu Qulabah as saying: Luqman was once asked: Who is the best one in terms of patience? He said: It is the one who practices no harm after observing patience. Those who asked him said: Who is the best one in terms of knowledge? He said: It is he who adds to his own knowledge through the knowledge of others. They asked: Who is the best from among the whole people? He said: It is the wealthy. They said: Is it the one who has properties and riches? He said: No! But, it is the one if whose good was sought, he would not hold it back or prevent it. And, it is the one who does not need anything from others 
~ Luqman on patience, knowledge, and goodness

I fell asleep quite early, slightly after 9 p.m. while surfing the internet.  Woke up again at around 12, performed some prayers, my body is still aching, so I applied some more deep-heat-rub-cream.  The pain is killing me, failed to sleep, therefore, I woke up, made myself a cuppa hot chocolate and start writing this entry.  Why did I choose 'writing'?  Don't go away yet, this is very important...please continue reading...I'm going to share with you some tiny-winy knowledge on 'Writing' as one form of WRITTEN COMMUNICATION.  This entry will share some info on the advantages of 'Written Communication' such as records, references and legal defenses in the context of language teaching.

Firstly, writing enables us to keep RECORDS of what we do (probably on daily / weekly basis).  Writing on blogs and Facebook are among the few popular ways of records.  Some treat blogging and facebook-ing (there isn't such word - just a jargon) as a way of keeping a diary.  I know!  I know!  'Diary' is SO yesterday!  But keeping a diary can do wonders!  I had breakfast with some very important colleagues this morning (or yesterday morning...Gosh!  I'm so confused with the time) ...As usual, language teachers are normally enthusiastic -- so many things to do in SO LITTLE TIME!  We talked  a little on teaching plans and I went "Yeah!  You got so many ideas there but you can't even write a proposal" and their respond is common  -- "We have so many things in mind but we have no time to write, but it's recorded in a voice recorder"...and I thought to myself, that's quite good but THAT has to be transcribed (from voice to written work)...Written communication has to take place so that everything can be recorded on paper...otherwise, things will just be gone with the wind.

Secondly, what ever that is written can work as 'REFERENCES'.  Don't belittle your own effort of delivering knowledge.  There's always something for people to learn from no matter how small your effort is.  Just get it written on papers properly.  Just write!  And some day, some where, there'll be people coming to you for references and voila!  A good deed is done!  Remember, Allah sees everything...  Good references will change other people's life...How?  Through many ways...expansion of ideas, contribution of ideas for a research or something, teaching ideas, or even setting up a good example to others...Inspire other people to replicate your research...etc.  You have to start small first.  You'll be surprised at how big your small notes will help you produce mega researches... (at least, that's what my lecturers used to tell me and it's proven).

Thirdly - DEFENSES.  This does not only apply to language teachers.  It applies to everybody in every field. Written communication provides defenses in so many ways like the 'purchase receipt', 'invoice', 'bookkeeping', 'attendance record', 'medical certificate', etc.  As for us, language teachers - our teaching record or the least we can do is our 'self reflection journal' can help us defend the method of teaching we choose to adopt.

To conclude, I'm not trying to be smart here...I'm not seriously writing either...This is just a reminder for myself...I don't know if this entry makes any sense to you or not but the point is - Educators must write! It's a 'record', a form of 'reference' and can be used as a 'defense' when need be.  How do you think people gets professorship? BECAUSE they profess!  AND they write!  Look at Rasulullah p.b.u.h.  He professed the Islamic religion values through two main ways ~ the hadiths and all his sunnah which were recorded by his wife, his friends and other imams after him.  Think about that!  We have to start somewhere...and TO GO UP, WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FIRST GO DOWN...Start small, read a lot, make small notes, and end up with major research...Write them down, because...


Saturday, October 22, 2011


Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?

Good day everyone!  It's a lovely bright Sunday and I'm done with all the house chores, my children have had their breakfast and I'm enjoying the 'me time' alone with a mug of hot boiling coffee latte + some manjakani*.  O cut the crap!  Let's move on to the main topic...HUNTING - I'm not going to write on chasing and killing wild animals and birds as a sport or for food BUT I'm going to write on the process of looking for a JOB.  Simplified = 'Job Hunting'.  I don't mean to brag but all my life, I've always succeeded in job interviews (except for that one particular job in a Japanese factory here in my  small town (Kuantan, Pahang, MALAYSIA) - I assume, I didn't get the job probably because I'm fat or because I said I've forgotten how to cycle bicycles without knowing that 'Secretaries' / other staff in the company have to cycle from one building to another - served me right!  I attended the interview without doing any research on that company).  Ok, lesson learned, therefore, in conjunction with the upcoming final exam and the upcoming job interview that our college is going to conduct in mid-November, I'd like to share a few tips on JOB HUNTING - before, during and after the job interview.  This entry will share some nick-nacks on job interview (before, during and after) such as the hunting tools, extrinsic and intrinsic values, the 'dos-and-don'ts' and follow-up.

Firstly, let's go to BEFORE - You can learn of a 'job opening' through 'job advertisements' on newspaper, the Internet (thank you very much Mr. Internet), words-of-mouth (be careful on this one - some people just might wanna play a prank on you), job-hunting agencies OR you can simply make tons copies of your resume and send them to companies that you assume need you (but then, IT'S BAD TO ASSUME). And then, what? Write a 'cover letter', write the best resume you can to 'sell yourself' (check out the Internet to get some superb resume samples) and select all your best written projects and compile them in a portfolio (don't send the portfolio, it's for you to show the interviewer on the interview day).  Once you've sent the resume, give it a few days (say...3 days) and call them to follow up... to ensure that they've received your resume. Simple!  Lesson No. 1:  DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND WAIT!  After sending out the resume, call them and show your enthusiasm to work for them (I do that all the time). You push them subtly, you get what I mean, don't you?  

If you're a college student
Question:  "When should I send out those resume?"
Answer:  During your final semester.  Now, this is what my lecturers in UiTM (formerly known as ITM) taught me.  They told me not to wait for the convocation - just send out resumes and start working.

Lesson No.2, DURING THE INTERVIEW- Remember, the interviewers will not only look at your extrinsic values (your looks and all) because that's only the secondary matter BUT they will look at your intrinsic values - education, attitude, personality bla bla bla... You have to be well-prepared.  Do some research on the company, on the regular interview questions or you can even choose to search for the most difficult interview questions and learn the tips on how to answer them.  Be sure to read the daily newspaper.  Make it a habit to read some educational magazines related to your 'major' (field) and be ready to give some reviews on movies that are related to your field of qualification.  Before the actual day, make an effort to find out how much time you need to travel from your home to the office.  Don't be late for the interview and and when you 'sell yourself', try to be as humble as you can...BUT don't be stupid!

Next, Lesson No. 3, AFTER the interview, give it a few days (3 days would be good) and call them to ask if you got the job.  Better still, write a 'Thank You note or letter'... 

Question:  "How to write them?"
Answer:  "Ask Mr. Internet!!! You can find tons of samples from him"

To conclude, this is just my 2 cents...You can learn much more from books and the Internet.  Here, I'd like to remind you about sending out those resume -- Try your best to do it yourself.  Don't ever rely on others, not even your closest friends.  They might just toss your resume in the dustbin instead of sending them for you...How do I know that?  Of course I know that, someone has done that to my resume.  I was told that a 'part time' lecturer is needed and that I can pass the resume through, so I did.  I gave it 3 days and called the Head of Department and was told that she did not receive the resume and that they don't need 'part time' lecturers...How embarrassing (and angry...and disappointed all at the same time)!!! - Bravo!!! I knew I couldn't trust you, but I told myself to try again, but nope!  You can never be trusted! OK, LESSON LEARNED!  When you hunt, NEVER EVER TRUST ANYBODY to handle your resume!  Do it yourself (DIY)... 

More Tips:
Surf Youtube for videos on Job Interviews, office wear, etc.


*An oak gall.  The galls, which contain tannin and small amounts of gallic acid and ellagic acid have antimicrobial qualities and are used in Malaysia by women after childbirth to restore the elsticity of the uterine wall.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Children and the Internet

A research was carried out:
It was found that 70% parents claimed that they control what their children surf on the Internet.  In contrary, 25% of the children claimed that their parents did not control what they surf on the Internet.  Are the parents telling the truth???  Obviously not!

This afternoon (like every other Monday, Wednesday & Friday), I had to go to Kuatan Medical Ctr (KMC), fetch my wheelchair-bound-mom and send her home.  Accompanied her for lunch and drove back to office.  While I was driving, I turned on to my favorite radio channel, IKIMfm and heard some doctor talked on a research he carried out on the above topic...It's an eye opener and since we are the Internet generation, here I'd like to share some of the information I gained - Since I didn't get to listen to the talk from the beginning, I'm assuming that the 'subjects' were of two (2) groups:  Parents & their children.  The findings are:

  1. It was found that 70% of parents claimed that they control what their children surf on the Internet and 30% don't control.  
  2. Out of that 70%, 25% of the children claimed that their parents have never controlled what they surf on the internet -- This leaves us an issue to ponder:  Are the parents telling the truth?  Or, are the children disobeying their parents' rules and regulations on the Internet use?  Allahu'alam...
  3. 40% of the children regret their 'wrongdoings' on the Internet --  It was not specified what... (God knows what the children are doing behind their parents back)  Here's another thought:  'behind their back' BUT 'right under the parents' nose', if you know what I mean...
  4. 42% of the children appreciates their parents' control as it prevents them from any misuse of the Internet.
  5. It was mentioned that there's a percentage of children who has had 'terrifying experience' when they accidentally opened a wrong website -- Hmmm...I wonder what genre it was...Pornography, horror movies, murders, CSI and what not... It can actually appear terrifying to children...
  6. 72% of the children trust their parents' care for their safety.  They rely on their parents for their safety...
  7. All in all, the doctor mentioned that the children actually appreciate their parents' guide on Internet use -- they do realize that parents' guide is crucial.

WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US? Are you married?  Do you have any children?  Are you addicted to 'gadgets'?  Do you buy all the up-to-date gadgets for your children?  Are you a Facebook addict? I am one!  Do you control what your children surf on the Internet?  Can you trust your children when they are alone on the Internet?  (Please answer all these questions honestly and take necessary action)

I love the Internet because it is the WORLD LIBRARY.  I'm not SO 'I.T. savvy' but I have experiences hacking into numerous famous universities' library -- I guess, that's decent enough.  But what about our children?  It's about time for us to wake up and  check on what our children are doing on the Internet once in while (if not everyday).  

We have heard of many cases...I'd say, it's some unexpected stupidity...O you know, falling in love with total strangers on the Internet and being abandoned by the 'so called' lover once they got pregnant.  (Of course, the internet has led to series of meetings / dating and adultery).  Children allured by pedophiles into meeting them and God knows what happened next.  What else?  Scams, pranks, etc. and the next thing you know, your credit card is charged, money in your account disappeared and so on and so forth.

All of the above are the pros and cons of the Internet.  Our decent children are widely exposed to it.  Let's not allow our children lose their innocence through that harmless-looking-little-box:  desktop, laptop, netbook, palmtop, iPad, Tab, etc.  They lead our 'motherless generation' to destruction...they turn our children into 'potato couch'.  Let's all reverse the time a little...be conservative a little...

Let's just drop the tab and pick up a book!  
It's much safer!

Monday, October 17, 2011



Hari ini saya ingin membuktikan kepada kawan saya yang saya juga boleh menulis di dalam Bahasa Melayu dengan baik...Oleh yang demikian, saya telah memilih tajuk WAJAH...(saya ada seorang kawan yang suka buli saya - Dia kata, dia tak suka berbicara di dalam Bahasa Inggeris dengan saya kerana saya akan selalu memberi komen di atas kesilapan bahasa yang beliau tuturkan).  Berbalik kepada tajuk entri saya pada hari ini, saya telah memilih tajuk ini kerana saya dapati ramai muda-mudi ataupun orang tua yang telah salah erti dengan doa yang saya paparkan di atas.  Di sini, saya ingin berkongsi ilmu yang saya dapati dari siaran Radio Ikimfm sewaktu di dalam perjalanan pulang dari pejabat petang tadi.

Menurut kata ustaz yang mengajar di dalam Ikimfm tadi..."WAJAH" atau 'rupa'  yang dimaksudkan di dalam doa tersebut, bukanlah wajah secara fizikal.  Sebaliknya, 'wajah' secara batin - Iaitu wajah di sebalik refleksi yang kita lihat di cermin setiap kali kita bercermin...

Di sini, setiap kali kita berdoa di hadapan cermin, kita harus bertanya pada diri kita tentang beberapa perkara seperti berikut:

  • Adakah wajah batiniah kita ikhlas bergembira apabila melihat kejayaan orang lain?
  • Adakah wajah ini telah sepenuhnya meninggalkan keutamaan soal dunia?
  • Adakah wajah ini telah sepenuhnya mengutamakan soal akhirat?
  • Adakah kita telah memaafkan semua orang?  (Yang ini, saya tambah sendiri he he he)
(Ustaz tersebut telah menggunakan perbendaharaan kata Arab yang saya tak berapa ingat.  Oleh itu, saya permudahkan bahasanya).

Kata ustaz itu lagi, kenapa kita perlu lihat 'wajah batin' kita?  Kerana 'wajah fizikal' kita tidak akan kekal.  Ia bakal menjadi makanan ulat di dalam tanah apabila kita meninggal dunia kelak.  Apa yang kekal adalah wajah batin kita - hati kita.

Apabila saya mendengar ceramah ustaz itu tadi, fikiran saya berlegar-legar ke pelbagai perkara lain pula.  Antaranya adalah tentang maksud doa berwudhu' bagi setiap anggota wudhu' kita...

Setiap kali berwudhu', kita mendoakan yang baik-baik belaka bagi setiap anggota wudhu' kita...Antaranya, supaya kaki kita ini tidak melangkah ke tempat-tempat maksiat, supaya mulut kita tidak berkata-kata dengan perkara yang tidak baik, dan sebagainya.

Ada banyak lagi perkara yang saya fikirkan pada ketika itu.  Sekali-sekala, terasa amat ngeri...Saya malu dengan Allah s.w.t. kerana Dia telah mengurniakan saya dengan pelbagai perkara yang baik-baik, sedangkan saya bukanlah hambaNya yang baik.

Saya sering bertanya di dalam hati..."Bagaimanakah saya hendak memperbaiki diri saya lagi pada pandangan Allah" - pencipta.  Terlalu banyak kepincangan saya ... Kemudian, saya teringat pada kuliah malam semalam (di Ikimfm juga):  Ustaz yang bertugas malam semalam telah memberi peringatan pada sekelian pendengar semalam tentang doa - Doa itu senjata...

Pada saya, selain dari mati...saya paling takut jika saya adalah orang yang tidak menjadi pilihan Allah s.w.t. untuk menerima hidayahNya.  Oleh yang demikian, saya sering berdoa pada Allah (yang boleh membolak-balikkan hati hamba-hambaNya) supaya Allah terus mencekalkan hati saya agar suka mendekatkan diri padaNya, agar sering menyahut panggilanNya, agar suka mendengar kalamNya, agar menjadi orang yang mendirikan solat dan yang paling penting -- Jadikan hati saya sebuah tapak untuk Allah sentiasa menurunkan hidayahNya, agar saya mampu menjadi isteri yang baik kepada suami saya, anak yang baik kepada ibu bapa saya, menjadi ibu yang baik kepada anak-anak saya, menjadi guru yang baik bagi anak-anak murid saya, menjadi jiran yang baik, sahabat yang baik dan sebagainya...

Sekian dahulu buat hari ini...Jumpa lagi di entri yang lain tetapi, kemungkinan besar, saya akan terus menulis di dalam Bahasa Inggeris sahaja :P


Hayati lagu-lagu ini...

You Came To Me lyrics

You came to me in that hour of need
When I was so lost, so lonely
You came to me, took my breath away
Showed me the right way, the way to lead

You filled my heart with love
Showed me the light above
Now all I want is to be with you

You are my one true love
Taught me to never judge
Now all I want is to be with you

CHORUS (x2): ALLAHUMA! Sal 'ala Sayideena Mustafa
'Alaa Habeebika Nabieeka Mustafa
(O God! Send Your Blessings upon our leader, the chosen one (Muhammad (peace upon him))
Upon Your Beloved, Your Prophet, the chosen one)

You came to me in a time of despair
I called on you, you were there
Without you what would my life mean?
To not know the unseen, the worlds between

For you I'd sacrifice
For you I'd give my life
Anything, just to be with you

I feel so lost at times
By all the hurt and lies
Now all I want is to be with you


Showed right from wrong
Taught me to be strong
Need you more than ever
Ya Rasul ALLAH (O Messenger of God (Muhammad (peace be upon him))

You came to me
In that hour of need
Need you more than ever
Ya Rasul ALLAH

You filled my heart with love
Showed me the light above
Now all I want is to be with you

You are my one true love
Taught me to never judge
Now all I want is to be with you

CHORUS (currently X2)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Road Not Taken

A very famous poem by a renown poet Robert Frost...The poem tells us about some people who are bold enough to take the difficult way...the unusual path / route in life to reach their destiny when others prefer to take the easy / common way.  Which one are you?  I have gone through quite a number of obstacles in my life to be where and what I am today.  Here I am again...I have reached another junction...another choice to make...and I have chosen to take the road not taken...(by others...)

At this junction, I realize that it is not all about me...It's about me AND THE PEOPLE AROUND ME.  Many people say, "by the end of the day, it all goes back to you and your family, not the people around you, not the company you're working with, not the environment but you and your family".  I want so much to believe in that but there is this little voice in my mind that says "It is all about what you can give and what you can gain (in the hereafter)"...Let me repeat that, THE HEREAFTER...

As a mother, I am (at present) and in the hereafter answerable to everything that I have done to educate my children.  Their good deeds, their bad deeds, solah, the Al-Quran, and so forth.  I came to realize that I lack in time...quality time with my children (and husband).  I work to earn good money but I don't think I have worked hard enough to earn quality time with my family.  The math is simple, low quality time = low quality family.  Therefore, I chose the one closest to my home.  The other path is located in the same town but I am unsure of the amount of burden I will have to carry...will I have to carry the same weight? No.  Will I have the same amount of time or less? Less.  Will I get to implement my knowledge? Maybe but the current place is more condusive.  Will I get good money?  Yes but I can gain more or less the same amount anywhere...and the list goes on and on...

All in all, it's just the matter of choice.  Once you made that choice, surrender to Allah for only He knows what is best for us.  It is not an easy choice and therefore, I choose the road less taken by others and I must have 'faith and strong will'...Insya Allah I will find the way...


"No one becomes someone on his own; No iron becomes a sharp dagger alone."
It's the end of the semester.  I'm in mixed-emotion...happy because my life will be less busy by one small notch...sad because I won't be seeing my students anymore :(  Many wonder why I'm sad about that. Here I'd like to share why I'm sad each time I'm apart from my V.I.P.  (Very Important Person / People).  Everybody has their own list of V.I.P.  You don't have to call the Protocol's Office to know my V.I.P. list.  They're all around me.  Apart from Allah the Almighty and Rasulullah p.b.uh., those in my V.I.P. list are my husband, my children, my mother, my teachers / lecturers, my former bosses, my former colleagues, my current colleagues, my neighbors, my friends and my students  ...
WHY SO MANY? Because we learn from everybody...
Back to the main reason of writing this entry - why be sad when I'm apart from my students?  To me, teaching isn't about teaching alone.  It's about sharing knowledge.  It's a two-way communication.  I teach, and I learn all at the same time...
We will feel the satisfaction when we find that our students actually appreciate and apply what we taught them to life.  
I am not such a religious person...Somehow, before I die, I do realize that I always have to hold on to this:
Abu Barzah Nadlah ibn Ubayd al-Aslami t  narrated that the Prophet r) said:  “A servant of Allâh will remain standing on the Day of Judgment till he is questioned:  about his age and how he spent it; and about his knowledge and how he utilized it; about his wealth from where he acquired it and in what (activities) he spent it; and about his body as to how he used it.”  (Tirmidhî  407)
I am glad that I am now teaching. I share knowledge and I educate them.  My students are always in my prayer.  They come from all walks of life.  Naturally, every mother will pray for  their children.  But how sure are you that your students have mothers that pray for them? (Mind you, thousands of muslim in this country don't perform their solah).  Therefore, I just do what I have to do.  This is my calling...
In return, I just hope that they will implement what they learn from me.  I am answerable for what I teach.  I've tried my best to give them the best...the right thing to do... and when the judgment day comes, I hope the knowledge I gave them will help me...
In the meantime...to all my students...If u ever hear of my death - I hope you will pray for me... say good things about me... convey the knowledge u received from me to others... recite Surah Yassin for me...recite Al-Quran for me... and I hope that's not too much to ask :)
Lastly, always remember...We learn 'something' from 'everybody' - be thankful to all the experience that u get from the people around you, be it good or bad.  Before I stop, I'd like to leave you with this thought:  
Abdullah Bin Mas’ud narrated:  “I asked the Prophet, ‘Which deed is the dearest to Allâh?’    He replied,  “To offer salaat (the prayers) at their early fixed times.” I asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?”   He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents.” I' again asked, “What is the next (in goodness)? “He replied, “To participate in jihad (religious fighting) in Allâh’s Cause.” (Bukhari 1/ 505)
Dear friends, family and students, let's join the cause to fight LAZINESS...jihad! Allahu Akhbar!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Obedient Wives Club


On bed?  I suppose so!  Before I go any further on this, let me share with you some classic saying that I used to hear from my grandma (and of course it's in Malay):


I was still a virgin when I first heard that from my grandma (and mom)... So, I asked them - "Kenapa kalau nak tidur sedap, kena kahwin dengan orang Pahang?" and my mom said:  "Sebab tempat tidur orang Pahang cantik - Orang Pahang terkenal dengan seni '*tekad'".  I took it from there as it is without any 'critical thinking' because my grandparents used to have all those beautiful tekad bed sets... *Tekat = Handwoven golden tread embroidery (check out the pix below) 

When I reached puberty, I came to realize that maybe (just maybe) Pahang women were famous for being good on bed.  And then, the thinking widen into so many more assumptions and self-questioning... If it's true - from which part of Pahang?  Am I one of them? bla bla bla (SILLY ME!)

I'm not here to tell you about the 'Obedient Wives Club'...I'm here to voice out my opinion on their eye-popping statement - "TREAT YOUR HUSBAND LIKE A FIRST-CLASS-PROSTITUTE..."

hmm...that's nothing new... (How shall I put this in words?)  I strongly believe that they meant well.  Unfortunately, the word 'sex' is a taboo in this country.  Ironically, we've become very famous for frequent 'Baby Dumping'.   OK OK! Let's not go astray from the topic!

Is SEX really the main thing in a marriage?  That depends on your intention of getting married... 

People get married for various reasons: Love (there...there...I put 'love' first in line - because that's me), God, to have children, for money, etc. And for sex!  I don't believe that 'sex' is the main thing.  I've met a lot of people... they turn away from their wives for various reasons too!  Ironically, for the same reasons they got married - How cool is that??? (Not cool!)

I for one, try my best to be an obedient wife... BUT... How obedient is obedient?  How good is good?  

Be it Malay, Indian, Chinese, etc.  Even if the husband is a Westerner...I notice that MAN/MEN loves it when they get the first-class treatment - in bed, in the kitchen, in school, etc.  They want perfection.  But then again, "How perfect is perfect?"  Every man has his own scale... his own taste, etc.  Do you really want to know if SEX is the 'main thing' in marriage?  (the following are quotes from some people I know)

  1. I'd like to quote our former Prime Minister - Tun Dr. Mahathir: "It's something to reminisce..." and yet, he's still with his wife...
  2. Mr. Ebi Azly Abdullah (check out my facebook if you want to know who he is or just google him) - "I don't like subservient wife"...
  3. Mr. Rizal Fouzi (my husband) - "I don't like uneducated women - that's why I married you, you got brain"
  4. Dr. something something I met and chatted at a hospital - "Stupid women turns me off, I prefer educated women"
  5. Mr. Hanafi Omar (my former colleague back in Celcom) - "I suka perempuan yg educated and cantik jadi wife I so that bila I tua nanti, I tak bosan" - maybe he meant, bila dah tua, sex activity pun dah takde... 

All in all, sex is not the main thing - everything goes back to one's intention of getting married.  Org Islam kata - Nawaitu kita.  Allah has mentioned in the Al-Quran: (forgive me if it's incorrect) "...Good men are for good women...".  As a muslim, women should bear that Allah permits polygamy.  It isn't an easy thing for us but it involves our aqidah - how u submit to Allah.  One thing for sure - our fate is written beforehand...In the meantime, just enjoy life and cherish everything... Scroll further down and you'll find two videos, watch it, learn from it and be a perfect combination of both - Obedient + Hot in Bed kinda wife...(Some men just love the look of a decent librarian, if you know what I mean...LOL - puzzled?)  Good luck and cheerio! (OK, you don't have to rate this entry, I know it sucks)