V.I.P.

"No one becomes someone on his own; No iron becomes a sharp dagger alone."

It's the end of the semester.  I'm in mixed-emotion...happy because my life will be less busy by one small notch...sad because I won't be seeing my students anymore :(  Many wonder why I'm sad about that. Here I'd like to share why I'm sad each time I'm apart from my V.I.P.  (Very Important Person / People).  Everybody has their own list of V.I.P.  You don't have to call the Protocol's Office to know my V.I.P. list.  They're all around me.  Apart from Allah the Almighty and Rasulullah p.b.uh., those in my V.I.P. list are my husband, my children, my mother, my teachers / lecturers, my former bosses, my former colleagues, my current colleagues, my neighbors, my friends and my students  ...

WHY SO MANY? Because we learn from everybody...

Back to the main reason of writing this entry - why be sad when I'm apart from my students?  To me, teaching isn't about teaching alone.  It's about sharing knowledge.  It's a two-way communication.  I teach, and I learn all at the same time...

We will feel the satisfaction when we find that our students actually appreciate and apply what we taught them to life.  

I am not such a religious person...Somehow, before I die, I do realize that I always have to hold on to this:

Abu Barzah Nadlah ibn Ubayd al-Aslami t  narrated that the Prophet r) said:  “A servant of Allâh will remain standing on the Day of Judgment till he is questioned:  about his age and how he spent it; and about his knowledge and how he utilized it; about his wealth from where he acquired it and in what (activities) he spent it; and about his body as to how he used it.”  (Tirmidhî  407)

I am glad that I am now teaching. I share knowledge and I educate them.  My students are always in my prayer.  They come from all walks of life.  Naturally, every mother will pray for  their children.  But how sure are you that your students have mothers that pray for them? (Mind you, thousands of muslim in this country don't perform their solah).  Therefore, I just do what I have to do.  This is my calling...

In return, I just hope that they will implement what they learn from me.  I am answerable for what I teach.  I've tried my best to give them the best...the right thing to do... and when the judgment day comes, I hope the knowledge I gave them will help me...

In the meantime...to all my students...If u ever hear of my death - I hope you will pray for me... say good things about me... convey the knowledge u received from me to others... recite Surah Yassin for me...recite Al-Quran for me... and I hope that's not too much to ask :)

Lastly, always remember...We learn 'something' from 'everybody' - be thankful to all the experience that u get from the people around you, be it good or bad.  Before I stop, I'd like to leave you with this thought:  

Abdullah Bin Mas’ud narrated:  “I asked the Prophet, ‘Which deed is the dearest to Allâh?’    He replied,  “To offer salaat (the prayers) at their early fixed times.” I asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?”   He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents.” I' again asked, “What is the next (in goodness)? “He replied, “To participate in jihad (religious fighting) in Allâh’s Cause.” (Bukhari 1/ 505)

Dear friends, family and students, let's join the cause to fight LAZINESS...jihad! Allahu Akhbar!

The Obedient Wives Club

...TREAT YOUR HUSBAND LIKE A FIRST-CLASS-PROSTITUTE...

On bed?  I suppose so!  Before I go any further on this, let me share with you some classic saying that I used to hear from my grandma (and of course it's in Malay):

KALAU NAK MAKAN SEDAP, KAHWINLAH DENGAN ORG TERENGGANU

KALAU NAK ISTERI CANTIK, KAHWINLAH DENGAN ORG KELANTAN 

KALAU NAK TIDUR SEDAP, KAHWINLAH DENGAN ORG PAHANG 

I was still a virgin when I first heard that from my grandma (and mom)... So, I asked them - "Kenapa kalau nak tidur sedap, kena kahwin dengan orang Pahang?" and my mom said:  "Sebab tempat tidur orang Pahang cantik - Orang Pahang terkenal dengan seni '*tekad'".  I took it from there as it is without any 'critical thinking' because my grandparents used to have all those beautiful tekad bed sets... *Tekat = Handwoven golden tread embroidery (check out the pix below) 

When I reached puberty, I came to realize that maybe (just maybe) Pahang women were famous for being good on bed.  And then, the thinking widen into so many more assumptions and self-questioning... If it's true - from which part of Pahang?  Am I one of them? bla bla bla (SILLY ME!)

I'm not here to tell you about the 'Obedient Wives Club'...I'm here to voice out my opinion on their eye-popping statement - "TREAT YOUR HUSBAND LIKE A FIRST-CLASS-PROSTITUTE..."

hmm...that's nothing new... (How shall I put this in words?)  I strongly believe that they meant well.  Unfortunately, the word 'sex' is a taboo in this country.  Ironically, we've become very famous for frequent 'Baby Dumping'.   OK OK! Let's not go astray from the topic!

Is SEX really the main thing in a marriage?  That depends on your intention of getting married... 

People get married for various reasons: Love (there...there...I put 'love' first in line - because that's me), God, to have children, for money, etc. And for sex!  I don't believe that 'sex' is the main thing.  I've met a lot of people... they turn away from their wives for various reasons too!  Ironically, for the same reasons they got married - How cool is that??? (Not cool!)

I for one, try my best to be an obedient wife... BUT... How obedient is obedient?  How good is good?  

Be it Malay, Indian, Chinese, etc.  Even if the husband is a Westerner...I notice that MAN/MEN loves it when they get the first-class treatment - in bed, in the kitchen, in school, etc.  They want perfection.  But then again, "How perfect is perfect?"  Every man has his own scale... his own taste, etc.  Do you really want to know if SEX is the 'main thing' in marriage?  (the following are quotes from some people I know)

1. I'd like to quote our former Prime Minister - Tun Dr. Mahathir: "It's something to reminisce..." and yet, he's still with his wife...
2. Mr. Ebi Azly Abdullah (check out my facebook if you want to know who he is or just google him) - "I don't like subservient wife"...
3. Mr. Rizal Fouzi (my husband) - "I don't like uneducated women - that's why I married you, you got brain"
4. Dr. something something I met and chatted at a hospital - "Stupid women turns me off, I prefer educated women"
5. Mr. Hanafi Omar (my former colleague back in Celcom) - "I suka perempuan yg educated and cantik jadi wife I so that bila I tua nanti, I tak bosan" - maybe he meant, bila dah tua, sex activity pun dah takde... 

All in all, sex is not the main thing - everything goes back to one's intention of getting married.  Org Islam kata - Nawaitu kita.  Allah has mentioned in the Al-Quran: (forgive me if it's incorrect) "...Good men are for good women...".  As a muslim, women should bear that Allah permits polygamy.  It isn't an easy thing for us but it involves our aqidah - how u submit to Allah.  One thing for sure - our fate is written beforehand...In the meantime, just enjoy life and cherish everything... Scroll further down and you'll find two videos, watch it, learn from it and be a perfect combination of both - Obedient + Hot in Bed kinda wife...(Some men just love the look of a decent librarian, if you know what I mean...LOL - puzzled?)  Good luck and cheerio! (OK, you don't have to rate this entry, I know it sucks)

THE OBEDIENT WIFE

THE HOT WIFE

Message in the Bottle

Have u ever missed someone?  Thanks to the I.T. world, people hardly miss anything / anybody...  You get to learn a lot of things from the Internet - good or bad.  You get to Skype, Facebook or Tweet your love ones... You may be million miles apart and yet, you are able to see each other everyday - It's just a 'click' away and voila!  Communication takes place. Nowadays,  'Miss' or 'longing' for the love ones is such an alien thing... No more 'public telephones', postcards, love letters, telegrams or anything of that sort - No more snail mails.  However, my entry is to share my wish to write a 'message in the bottle' to my late father...This year marks the 3rd year of his depart...We lost him on a heart attack...Sudden death to be exact.  I wasn't with him...none of us was with him - ONLY MY MOM.  I miss him terribly!!! I know this sounds crazy but I wish I can still talk to him or at least, write messages to him, roll the letter, put it in a bottle and let it sail onto the sea to reach him...

Here's a letter to Ayah (father):

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Assalamualaikum 

Ayah,

HUGS AND KISSES! 

HUGS AGAIN AND AGAIN...

It's been years since we last talked...

Ever since you left, I've read a lot of books on 'what happens to the dead after their death' written by our Islamic scholars and I'm glad that you were one of those who were very close to the Al-Quran...I guess you are well taken care of over there...

I miss you very much...

The kids miss you very much - Rayyan remembers the date he last ate your nasi lemak...  Razin often ask me why I am not as 'cool' as you...you don't get angry at all!  And Rizqin remembers how you used to hold his face and tell him how handsome he is...

Rizal told me all the many things he used to discuss with you...

To make it short, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND!  And that Raymond is YOU!

Rayyan, Razin & Rizqin (but Rizqin  got his hair cut already)

I don't want to give you any bad news... but I must tell you that mak (mother) misses you a whole lot.  She speaks of you everyday - I guess she misses all those quarrel she used to have with you...she's grown weaker than ever... She's losing her eyesight - The doctors say it's due to diabetes.  I don't believe that...she's had diabetes since she's 35 but she was always strong... I think she's been crying.  I can tell that she misses u...  She lives alone now.  We decided to take her in but she insists on staying at that house you built for her... On the day you left, mak didn't cry... that puzzled me at first but now I understand... I assume she was numb at first... and then, when the visitors came to pay their last respect, she managed to put on a smile on her face but it was until everybody left that she started mourning...she must have cried all by herself.  O I don't know...I might be wrong, but I strongly believe that she's losing her eyesight because she cries a lot - especially when she's alone... I must say that your love story is something that's rare and true... it's hard to find nowadays!

What am I up to?  O nothing much.  Life has been a lot busier than before.  Rizal, the kids and mak.  I'm proud to tell you that now mak acknowledges my cooking.  She says that my cooking is a lot better than others' LOL!  I just wish you could sample a few of my cooking.  It may not be a big thing to others but it's a huge accomplishment to me.  In fact, I wanted to impress you with my cooking on the day of our last meeting (3 days before you passed away) - I cooked masak lemak ikan masin with nenas.  I cooked a lot than I usually did because you were on your way home with mak from KL.  Unfortunately, you refused to stay for dinner that day...Otherwise, I'm sure you would have said that the dish is nicer than usual :)

The truth is - I don't know what else to say... Sorrow is not a good thing to share with you.  It's just that I wish I can see you in my dreams every night I go to sleep.  Of course, you do come and visit me once in a blue moon, thank you!  BUT ... can you please respond to what I say??? Don't just stand there and smile!!! I miss you... I hope all my good deeds - my prayers...and reciting Al-Quran has helped you over there... I just want you to know that I'm trying my very best to stay strong especially for mak.  She talks about you every day and there were times when she would cry thinking of you... and I played strong each time she did that...

Ok Ayah... It's pretty late now, I have to go to bed but before that, I just want you to know that I love you very much - ALL OF US DO!  I want to apologize for all the things I've done wrong ... and I mean everything ... those were my green days...It was really stupid of me to think that you didn't love me as much as you loved the rest.  I was totally wrong... I'm sorry... I didn't know... One more thing, a month after you passed away, Raafiee found my photos in your brief case... only my photos... and he was pretty jealous LOL!  Here's something else that I'd like to say - Thank you for everything ayah...thank you for everything that you've done for us... You and mak have made me what I am... Alhamdulillah... 

Lastly, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH... I will write again some day... Assalamualaikum!

                                                                                                                   Love, 

                                                                                                                   Lina, your daughter :)

 

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OK, it's crazy isn't it??? Tell me something PEOPLE!  Do you really think that this letter will reach my dead father?  No one can tell for sure... The point here is -- ALWAYS TELL YOUR FAMILY HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU'LL SEE THEM...You might be as unfortunate as me...I lost my dad on a sudden death.  He had a heart attack, and I'm left with so many regret...so much guilt and so many things left unsaid and I must say, THAT is the hardest part about losing people that you love...

Here's a song for you, readers (if there's any):

And here's a song for my beloved Ayah (father):  LOVE YOU!!! Muah muah muah!  

AL - FATIHAH

(1937 - 2008)